what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
that's an acceptable place to lick
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
