Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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