who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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