if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I touched a dick in church today
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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