But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
