shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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