you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
