You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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