If i come over, it means nothing
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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