I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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