Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
you made out with another girl for some wings
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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