Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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