I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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