While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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