Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
