id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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