idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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