Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
