I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
