He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
