Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
