I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
