there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
