I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Drake has all the answers
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
