Buhtt sex?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
