So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
If its not for food we ain't going out.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize