Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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