I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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