I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
