Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
