What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i barfeds in our rink
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
