is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
