you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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