Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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