God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
