Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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