I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
