bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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