great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
