dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
