i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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