I will die if light touches me.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
