dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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