capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
If I die, sorry about rent.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize