It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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