She said her name was "party"
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
