told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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