My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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