i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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