also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She told me I should be a condom model.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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