Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
How's work?
Spinning.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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