oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
