Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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