it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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