It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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