I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
someone owes me an orgasm
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
