Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
