I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
