Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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