How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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