Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
