your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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