do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
vagina is talking i cant
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
