But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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