he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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