After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
