think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
