dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
