Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
