Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
