What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
